My Lands: Black Gem Hunting

My name is Bob; I'm an explorer from the great city of Arnika. I never meant to be an explorer; I always hoped to join the winged fighter corps; but when I made it to the top of the assignment queue it was the explorer teams that I was chosen for. I was to replace Phil; who had died somewhere in the mountains to the north of the city. I had been on the job for a week and so far my 6 journeys had found nothing of worth. I was hoping for a nice pit; maybe the great dream of finding a stonehenge. It never even occurred to me that I might be the one to find the greatest find of them all in the great desert of Agrah. https://prnt.sc/26lgtk3 There it was, an arch ruin! I reported in to HQ and the spies verified my find and investigated the ruin. https://prnt.sc/26lgw04 A response squad was quickly assembled and dispatched led by the clan treasurer himself; lord Biohazard; with my lord Rheedon assisting. https://prnt.sc/26lgwb8 A lightning strike aided by the power of the awesome Animal Fear spell led to a quick and decisive victory with great treasure shared by all. https://prnt.sc/26lgxdp And my reward? Dispatched to the deadlands in service to my lord once more. On a Saturday. :Sigh:

Nice idea, but the story is too short. Please, add more details of the battle.

freeharika wrote:Nice idea, but the story is too short. Please, add more details of the battle.

excuse me for the entrance in this messages, but i am curious, in most stories here you always say "nice, but short and we want more details"
1. Not every one has a talent to write stories.
2. What kind of detils you want exactli, i didnt see rules or specific requirements such as: photos of the battle in detail, description of losses, etc., untill there is no specific rule, people dont know what exactly you expect as detiles of the battle.

If there is no specific requirements for what have to be in story, you should honer the players efforts to do stories at all, every one acording to his power to do this... In your case till now, you try to you compare someone with writing talent, with someone with, say, mathematical talent ...No every on has imagination, but every one try... think about that.
When i wrote my story here, you didnt say give us more detiles, but i wrote the story for my friend, who ask me for help, and when he posted here, you say, "give us more detiles".... honestly i didnt saw any big diference between both stories...

and for the records, this story here is really good, well builded and fun... honer the player effort to do this... and write some specific ruls, so to players to know what exctly you whant to see.
Otherwize it is not fair at all.

Off topic! Freeharika

The reason that "people are not good at writing stories" is irrelevant to the requirement to write a decent story. It's like saying, "Wow, not a lot of people are good at writing stories... just give us the story-writing reward already, this isn't fair!"

I think the general requirements (which I am paraphrasing in my own way):

• -Story should be interesting, which is toughest probably. Try to think of one unique thing and run with it if you are having trouble. (this story already did with the character being an explorer etc. which is a good start)
  -Add description and detail and the story should not read like a children's bed time story ... "I am warrior. I searched all day and night and found a ruin. There was a battle. I won. I got gems. The end."
  ...this is not a story, this is a summary. Try to make it something more than just the basic events that literally happened. That's boring; those happen for EVERYONE that has destroyed an arch ruin. Try to focus the story on a character and some change that will happen to them after the arch ruin event happens in your story.
  **I understand many have a language barrier which can contribute to their story sounding broken, but those are easily fixed -- content is what I am focused on, not grammar.
  -Includes screenshots (perhaps battle, world map of ruin, spy report), or creative artwork (created or pulled from other sources to help illustrate in lieu of no in-game screenshots). It is best to upload/embed the pictures to the forum rather than drop urls.
  -Story gotta be longer than a single paragraph with description of battle (or another creative way to depict what happened, perhaps the gems were stolen and only single combat happened; use imagination)

I've written several arch ruin stories and helped others improve theirs for submission. It just takes a little effort and creativity!